An Urgent call came to Admiral Toronto as he was settling in for his fish cakes on Christmas Eve
It was the direct line from Kris Kringle at the North Pole. Yep that's right Santa.
Santa was frantic. “My Elves got into the schnapps and Edgar the Head Elf spiked the eggnog and . . .”
“So your Elves are to drunk to help?” Toronto interrupted.
“Well yes and no” Santa said. Just hearing the voice of his friend Toronto had calmed him.
“We were ready to roll when we discovered that Edgar hadn't checked the Red Bulb in the lead reindeer's nose and when the Elves got drunk they broke the spare bulbs we keep on board that sleigh.”
“We desperately need your help. Some one has to guide the sleigh that sleigh tonight.”
“We were over Norway went the mishap happened so I landed the lead sleigh at our good friend's Kitty Purrington's house. I needed to take a sip of akvavit to calm my nerves – (don't worry Edgar's wife Elizavita is sober and she is driving my sleigh). I'm here warm, with our good friend while Edgar and crew are in a holding pattern over Oslo.”
Fortunately the flying ship the Brigantine Catavenger is always ready to go.
“We got the situation handled baby.” The Admiral said. “I just sent my 'Head' Idiot, the cat's butler, cook, pooper scooper to gather the others so we can get ready to roll, or fly as the case may be.”
Chow Santa Baby we will see you in a jiff.”
True to his word the crew piled in the ship and in the twinkling of and eye the ship appeared at the North Pole.
“Howdy and Ahoy,” Admiral Toronto called down as the Catavenger with Commander Victoria at the wheel came in for a landing.
“You loaded up and ready to rumble?” Toronto said as he climbed down and hugged their friend Kitty Purrington.
“Well get those antler wearing wonders in gear and follow me and you will see how we got it handled.”
With that Victoria flashed the red high beams that their Chief Engineer Spot had quickly installed.
As much as Toronto would have liked to stay and visit with KP he couldn't.
So Toronto jumped back on board his ship and Santa just hopped in the lead sleigh and gave that cats a big thumbs up.
And so the convoy headed on out.
While in flight Santa got back on on the private line and said that the guide bulb for the south American
Fleet was working so he had sent that on ahead.
Now for those of you who are ignorant of the mysterious ways of Old St. Nick, when he hit's North America the Convoy starts a zigzag pattern.
Fortunately the tel-porters in the sleighs are regularly serviced by none other than the cat-crews own Engineer Spott and were in in tip-top shape. (In the future he would need to make it a point to check all the Nose-Bulbs as well.)
As they neared the home's of the Cat-Crew's special friends the convoy skimmed extra low so Santa could give a special “Ho Ho Ho Ho.” To their friends such as Glacier (near to to the North Pole her self). Back around to see El. Zig-zagging back around to the west they skimmed over and waved down to HM vand Rich in Redding then eastward to DC and Shirley, back west over Senbob and Bazooka, family in Arkansas and Arizona, Ferret in Texas, Manx (who was back home in Florida). And so it went with them waving to so many of the fleet's Special Friends (who well get a special mention if they sign my Guestbook ) - until the entire route was done.
The entire fleet of sleighs once again regrouped over the Azores and made a run for the North Pole. Where they relented and let the sobered (and hung over) Elf Edgar out of the Detention Igloo. The The south American Elves had loaded their Sleighs with tequila and beer on the way back.
“But where are the dang Tamales?“ Santa shouted as they disembarked.
“Sorry but when we were delayed there was a run on Tamales, but we broke in a got the last dozen for you Santa.”
Admiral Toronto had been listening in (and looking in as the sneaky Shel had grabbed the tamales for himself).
“I gotcha covered.”
Commander Calgary grabbed the last tamale just as their human Shel was about to chomp it down.
He hustled it over to Engineer Spott who hit it until it grew into one GIANT TAMALE!!
As they had flown over the Elves had replaced the gifts with beamed up goodies. (Paid for or not is not for me to say).
Thus – well provisioned – with food and drink from all over the world they PARTIED DOWN.
And to all a good night!
This story dedicated to my Sister Joan (and her husband for putting up with me), the surviving Pumpkin Chatters, Shirley, HM and my favorite Texan Ferret.
And of Course to Kitty Purrington a Friend to Santa Claus & Cats Everywhere.
With a special shout out to Joe, Rich in Redding and my neighbors in the (Future) Sea-Port of Phoenix.